Q: Is it okay for immediate family members to serve as pallbearers?

A: Yes – In fact, on most services in which I participate, the pallbearers are grandchildren, or nephews.

When making funeral arrangements it is helpful to begin considering who might best serve as a pallbearer.

I’ve found that most sons, and sons-in-law, do not wish to serve in that capacity.

In addition to grandchildren and nephews, cousins, close friends, and co-workers, are all ideal sources for pallbearers.

We funeral directors also serve as pallbearers, and often include other members of our staff in the event family members are not able to accomplish the task.

Note that if you are pre-planning your funeral, you can honor someone by asking him or her to serve as a pallbearer, but please allow the potential pallbearer the opportunity to opt out, since we can’t very well predict the wellness of those we wish to carry us to our place of rest. – Those not physically up to the task can always be recognized as an “honorary pallbearer.”

29 Geib Staff Members Earn CPR and AED certification

Wednesday evening, 29 Geib staff members were certified in CPR and how to use an Automated External Defibrillator (AED) purchased by the Geib Funeral Homes.

The AED is a device that analyzes the heart's electical rhythm and, if necessary, prompts you to deliver a shock to a person experiencing sudden cardiac arrest.

"We thank Geib for stepping up and helping to make our community safer by obtaining an AED and taking CPR training," said American Red Cross director Chad Conrad. "It's all about saving lives right here. Red Cross would be happy to work with anyone interested in AEDs or safety trainings."

The Geib staff encourages any local business to consider purchasing an AED and to become certified in CPR. A cardiac patient's damage to the brain and heart is measured in seconds and minutes. Having this knowledge and an AED can save a person's life!

Clergy Honorariums

This week, we apporach a topic asked many times in the course of serving families:


Q: What is an appropriate gift to give a minister for conducting a funeral service?


A: The answer to this question varies with several factors. First, there are some religious organizations that have a set amount. If this is the case, your funeral director can advise you of the usual and customary amount for your church.


Next, while some clergy members donate any honorarium to a church memorial find, others use such a gift to help defray living expenses. One minister told me years ago, that his earnings from weddings and funerals went to help get school clothes for his young boys.


The average honorarium paid to a minister today is one hundred dollars. Many families give a larger gift, especially if a clergy member has made many trips to out of town hospitals, or has gone above and beyond the call of a minister to aid the family.


Most of the time, a funeral director will hand deliver an honorarium on behalf of the family to the minister, at the time of the service. At Geib, we use a check to provide a record of the payment. This method of payment can also be helpful if your minister is like me, and sends his suit to the drycleaner with items still in the pockets. We can always re-issue a check, but can’t replace a cash gift.

Remembering a Star of our Own

You’ve undoubtedly watched or read about the high profile deaths of Hollywood “stars.”

One passing of a star that occurred this week went without media coverage. 37 year-old Brian Schaar, whose story was featured two weeks ago on the front page of The Bargain Hunter, passed away last Saturday, only hours before a community-wide fundraiser was set to begin to help his family with medical expenses.





Schaar was the type of man whom many enjoyed knowing. Many of his colleagues reported that Brian brought a lot of character to his work.


Aside from that work ethic, Brian will be remembered as one of the fathers who took time to coach his son’s little league team. If you were anywhere near the fundraiser at the Strasburg Fire Station last Saturday, as I was, his reputation, his following among others in our community, could not be lost upon you.


Parking was almost non-existent, and the only thing harder to find than a place to leave the car, was an empty seat at the benefit, which in itself, is more telling of the affection and regard so many people held for this man than the most eloquent of eulogies.


The world needs more people like Brian Schaar.


Heaven must have needed more too.


Share condolences with his family and read Schaar's complete obituary at http://www.geibcares.com - click on condolences, then on Brian's profile.

Radio Show Listeners Comment on Funeral Etiquette

It started innocently enough. About four times a year, I am called to be a guest on Dial & Speak – an hour long talk radio show on radio station WBTC.



On this particular day in early June, a caller to the program asked whether a funeral director could intervene when a person was taking too much time talking to the family of the deceased at visitation. The caller explained that he had been behind more than one “long talker” and described conversation far beyond the scope of offering meaningful condolences.



Honestly, I’d never been asked at a visitation to help “speed up the line” as the caller suggested, but I have stood in lines that seemingly would never end. With that call, the floodgates opened and more calls began to come in – suggestions, situations, and strange stories… and the necessity of this column to sort out the details was born.



Nearly two years ago, I shared with readers a few suggestions that were scribbled on a note and passed to me following a funeral. The author of the note had made a few observations about the behavior of other guests, and thought I would be wise to share her observations:



“Tell them not to chew gum” she began - noting that there were guests who had chomped on gum during the prayer.

“Check your coat when you come in, and not over the back of your chair for it to drip on my purse.” she quipped in the second statement. Many funeral directors strongly agree. Furnishing a funeral home is no small expense, and to funeral directors, watching wet coats soak furniture is akin to scratching fingernails on a chalkboard.



Another caller to the radio show mentioned the use of cell phones, and his experience of watching someone “text” while standing in the visitation line. I am a fan of technology. I believe that when properly used, technology actually brings us closer together. Still though, there are moments when technology seems out of place. The caller was spot on – a visitation or funeral ceremony deserves the complete attention of guests, and to the greatest extent possible, cell phones and pagers should be silenced and put away.



Interestingly, more and more families are using their phones as cameras too – which allows them to take snapshots at funerals as never before. It is not uncommon for a few family members to use their phones and take pictures of a military graveside service. Again – technology can bring us closer together. Having awareness of where technology is welcome and where it interferes is the key.



The final caller of the day inquired about a dress code for a funeral home. Of course there is no dress code for members of the public to attend visitation. While we’re far from “no shirt / no shoes / no service” – the caller did remark that many people were not dressing up like they did in days gone by. – Call it a sign of the times, but personally, this columnist just glad that people still show up to pay respects at visitation.



Remember that with many families not hosting extended visitations as they once did (2-4 and 7-9 were staples for decades) that many guests are now attending visitations having come directly from their workplace, a sporting event, or other obligation. We’ve even had a group of Red Hatters attend a visitation in full regalia - a really fitting tribute since the daughter of the gentleman who died was a member of the group.



In the weeks since the radio show, there has been plenty of comment on the topic of funeral etiquette. Webster’s dictionary defines etiquette as “the conduct or procedure required or prescribed by authority to be observed in social life.” With school out for the summer, why not be an authority to the younger members of your family, and stress the importance of making a good impression when in social settings.



Etiquette will not be on the “big test” that kidders take at school, so don’t count on it to come from the classroom. Good etiquette will open doors to many opportunities for your youngster to show off his or her knowledge.



Whether at a visitation or service it is your presence or the presence of a young member of your family that will leave a lasting impression… it is up to you to ensure that the impression is a meaningful one.



Brian Hanner is the Vice President of Geib Funeral Homes, Crematories & Remembrance Centers of New Philadelphia and Dover, Ohio. Hanner answers “Ask The Director” as a bi-weekly feature of The Bargain Hunter. E-mail your questions to bhanner@geibfuneral.com or visit an archive online at www.geibcares.com

Retiring Reader Relocates... but with questions

A regular reader recently wrote with an important question. She is retiring this summer and relocating to South Carolina. It seems that her mother is making the move with her, but intends on having her funeral and burial in Pennsylvania. The reader is trying to sort out how to best plan for her mother’s needs upon her death. She turned to Ask The Director for advice.



I suggested that she contact her funeral director in Pennsylvania. She can review with the PA funeral director, any special needs or requirements for burial in her mother’s hometown.


Once our relocating reader has an idea of the costs and services that will be required in PA, she can either allow that funeral director to select a funeral home in South Carolina, or go about choosing a funeral provider once she gets acclimated to the area.


I believe that our reader would be best served by allowing the PA funeral director time to contact the funeral homes in SC. As an expert in the funeral profession, I can personally attest to learning a lot by simply calling different funeral homes and asking the same questions of several funeral providers.


The reader will have to decide whether or not there will be any services in SC before her mother is transferred to the PA funeral home. Since our retiring reader will be relatively new to the area, it may not be necessary, but if her mother gets integrated into the community and enjoys the easy living of the Carolina’s, she may want to consider a farewell service if she’s made many new friends in her new environment.


While the needs of each family are unique, if you find yourself confronted with the death of a family member away from home, here are few suggestions for your consideration:


•Contact your funeral director in the city where services will be held. Your director will make arrangements with a local funeral home to transfer your loved one into their care and arrange for embalming if the remains are to be transported to an out of state funeral home.


•If you have a preference for a specific funeral home to take care of initial transfer and care details, you should express that wish, otherwise your receiving funeral director will contact the funeral homes in the locality where death occurred to decide which funeral director best aligns with their standard of care.


•In consultation with your funeral director, you will decide which mode of transportation is most appropriate. Normally, funeral directors will arrange to drive your loved one if the destination is less than 250 or 300 miles. Once that mileage is exceeded it can be more cost effective to fly the decedent home using a commercial airline.


•If any viewing or services take place prior to your loved one being transported home, you will need to plan on purchasing a casket from the funeral provider out of town. If no services are planned, that selection can be made at home, as it is often less expensive to ship a decedent without the weight of a casket, especially on an aircraft.


•Resist the temptation to set visitation or service times at the receiving funeral home until your loved one is in the care of the receiving funeral home. (This is especially critical if the mode of transportation is by air, as unexpected delays can cause missed flights). Imagine having a visitation and funeral without the person who died because of a weather delay in Chicago or Atlanta -. It has happened – and only distracts a family from the important tasks of grieving.


•Know that it is always okay to call a time-out. That is, ask for clarification, or an alternative to arrangements that may not be to you satisfaction. Those of us who have chosen the profession of funeral service, really do put the needs and comfort of our guests first.


We wish the best to our retiring reader, here and in South Carolina.


See you this weekend at the American Cancer Society Relay for Life. The survivor lap steps off at 6PM at Dover’s Crater Stadium. We’re chairing the Luminary Service that gets underway at about 9:30 (after dark) Friday. I hope you will join us in the fight against cancer and remember with us those lives cut short because of the terrible disease.


Columnist Brian Hanner answers Ask The Director – a biweekly feature of The Bargain Hunter. Hanner is the Vice President of Geib Funeral Homes, Crematories and Remembrance Centers of New Philadelphia and Dover. His e-mail address is: bhanner@geibfuneral.com

Seven Steps For A Meaningful Memorial Day 2009

1 Visit a veteran's grave. It isn't difficult to spot them this time of year.

Thousands of flags and bronze flag holders prominently mark the graves of veterans who have served in every branch of service from the revolutionary war to the present War on Terror. You may find it especially meaningful to visit a special section in a cemetery set aside for veterans who have passed away in the line of duty.

New Philadelphia's Historic Fair Avenue Cemetery is the final resting place for at least one veteran from every conflict between the Revolutionary War to the Vietnam Conflict.


2 Repair the area around a veteran's grave. Pulling weeds, clearing wintertime debris, and even washing the marker with a vinegar and water solution that can dissolve grime and bird droppings will be a sign of your appreciation for the sacrifice veterans have made in serving our country.


3 Fly an American Flag – properly, on Memorial Day. The flag of the United States is to be flown from sunrise until noon at half-staff, and at noon, it is to be elevated to full-staff. The symbolism of positioning the flag at half-staff reminds all of us of the price we have paid for freedom, and raising the flag to full-staff reminds us that the glory is found in rising again, from every affliction.


4 Make a contribution to a worthy charity or organization dedicated to memorializing those who have died in service to our country. There are many, but a favorite of mine is The American Gold-Star Mothers Association.

This is an organization for mothers of soldiers killed in action that began during World War I, when the practice of hanging a gold star in the front window was used to signify the sacrifice made by the household in the war effort. Today, the organization raises awareness and provides due recognition to the families who have experienced a service related loss.

Join me in sending them a contribution. Their address is: 2128 Leroy Place, NW, Washington, DC, 20008.



5 Participate in the National Moment of Remembrance, now held annually at 3PM local time. First declared in May, 2000 by President Clinton, to voluntarily and informally observe in your own way a Moment of Remembrance and Respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to Taps.


6 Better yet, attend one of numerous community observances of Memorial Day, conducted under the leadership of our local veteran's organizations. The ceremony held on the grounds of the courthouse at New Philadelphia is particularly meaningful.

Feel free to park your car in the nearby Geib Funeral Home & Crematory lot. Doing so will keep the parking on the streets open for disabled patriots who want to see the event from their vehicle.


7 Bring a friend, or family member along with you to any of the above activities. Involving another person, especially a younger person helps to spread the flame of patriotism. Without your teaching and leadership, young people may not see the more meaningful side of the first three-day weekend of the season.



Finally, many readers know that I have a much younger half-brother, named Paul. (I was one of those kids who required double the parenting, so when I was little, my mom and dad doubled up. Paul was born to my step-mother and my dad when I was about 14.)

This week, Paul is graduating from Newcomerstown High School and is the president of his class. He's forgoing the typical summer off, and entering the basic training for the United States Marine Corps on Monday, June 8.

For all of the proud parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters of our young leaders entering the military, we say thanks. The bravery, and patriotism demonstrated by these young men and women honor those who have gone before, and inspire those looking up to you. – And for Paul… well, he couldn't have a brother more proud. Semper Fi

Columnist Brian Hanner is the vice-president and general manager of the Geib Funeral Homes, Crematories and Remembrance Centers in New Philadelphia and Dover. Share comments or feedback with Brian by e-mail at bhanner@geibfuneral.com.


(photo courtesy of flickr user cindi47452)

What Does Easter Mean To You?

We pause this week from our typical "Ask The Director" format to share a timely Pastor's Perspective.

We welcome the Rev. Dr. Steve Bailey, Senior Pastor of First United Methodist Church at New Philadelphia. Dr. Bailey shared this message with his congregation in the April edition of the church newsletter.

I thought it was excellent reading, especially given its focus upon the moments in our life when the hope and promise of Easter is most relevant.


We'll return to the question and answer format next week – but for now, I hope you enjoy the message Dr. Bailey shares as much as we did at Geib. ~ Brian & Family

What Does Easter Mean To You?


My answer has changed throughout my life. As a child, it meant candy and spending an extra long day at church. During my teenage years, it often meant being part of a “sunrise” service that usually was only attended by the parents of the participants.


In college, it began to mean more, as I studied the Gospels and learned the details in greater detail. As a pastor since 1985, it has meant trying to convey one of the most important parts of our message in a 15-20 minute sermon.


You might be surprised to learn that many pastors don’t especially like preaching Easter sermons. It is nice to see everyone, but there is an impossible task. The reason for that is that is simple: we can’t really express the fullness of what Christ did in 20 minutes or less.


Maybe that is why so many of us who are disciples try to prepare for Easter, and observe the tradition of Lent. We need time to let what Jesus did for us sink in, ricochet around in our minds, and reach a deeper level in our souls.


The times that the significance of Easter becomes so real for me, are those moments when a family gathers to say their final goodbyes to a loved one. Of all the experiences that are a part of life, losing someone you love to death is one of the most crushing.


I’ve often seen a person who shared 50, 60, even 70 years as the husband or wife of the deceased; suddenly alone and without their companion and closest friend. I’ve seen parents who have been completely devastated by the death of a child. I’ve seen life long friends shed tears at the side of a casket. I’ve been in the room when the doctor broke the news of death.


These moments hurt. They are the darkest moments. They are real and inescapable. They will happen in my life and yours. These are the moments, when the resurrection of Jesus and the promises he made to us, reach their full meaning. These are the moments when knowing that Jesus loved your friend and loves you, make all of the difference. The pain is real and overwhelming, but knowing that this is not the end, matters more than words can say.


Love leaves us with more than death can take away. The cross could not silence Jesus. Death is a shadow that will fall across your path, but it cannot hold you. Shadows have no power. And we know that like Christ, we too shall also rise to new and eternal life.


On Easter Sunday, there are a lot of distractions. Flowers, family, meals, and other activities can all get in our way. But when your world is destroyed and your dreams broken, the meaning of the resurrection is unspeakably important.


Someday, my body will stop working. I don’t know when, where, or why. On that day, the greatest gift that I have given to Marcy, my daughters, and my friends will simply be this: I believe in the resurrection and in eternal life. Jesus is my friend whom I trust completely. My life will not cease when my body fails. My life will become much more than it has ever been. I will make a new home and I will live for the day of reunion with them.


You don’t come to that conviction after a 20 minute spiritual pitch, no matter how eloquent the speaker might be. You come to that conviction by digging deep, journeying with Christ, and trusting his wisdom to guide you. Real faith is a life long process.


This Easter, I hope that I preach a sermon worthy of the day. But more than that, I hope that you truly grapple with the significance of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection – and what that means for you. And with Christ as your friend, I hope that you have a sense of peace and confidence and hope in him. I do.


Faithfully yours,

Dr. Steve Bailey

Dr. Bailey leads two worship services each Sunday at First United Methodist Church, 201 West High Avenue. A contemporary service, with drama and modern music begins at 8:30 in J.I.M.'s Place, adjacent to the church, and a popular traditional service at 10:45 in the church sanctuary. Share feedback with Dr. Bailey at pastorumc@aol.com. This and an archive of Ask The Director Columns are available online at www.geibcares.com

The Yeah Buts & What If's of Ohio's Right of Disposition Law

Last week’s column focusing upon Ohio’s disposition law has spawned a number of follow-up questions. Here’s a brief refresher:

In Ohio, a deceased body of a becomes the property of one of two parties:

The deceased’s next of kin – ordinarily in an order that begins with a surviving spouse, or in the absence of a legally married survivor, adult children born to the deceased, and succeeding through grandchildren, and even “relatives of the same degree of kinship that are decedents of the decedent’s grandparents” - a fancy way of saying “cousins”.

The second party is known as the “designated representative” appointed by the person who died, while still of sound mind, to carry out funeral, burial and cremation arrangements upon his or her death.

Interestingly, the authority of the designated representative to carry out disposition actually supersedes all descendents in executing final arrangements.

The questions I received this week had to do with limitations of this authority.


Read on.

Q: How can a person that is not related actually have a say over funeral or disposition arrangements?

Ohio lawmakers provided this special category of “designated representative” to allow for unmarried couples to appoint one another, in a capacity not unlike a power of attorney that is used prior to death. Because power of attorney ceases at death, lawmakers saw fit to create this special representative capacity to accommodate this situation.

Such an appointment is also helpful when there are multiple individuals who together share the same priority for exercising the right of disposition. In such an instance, a designated representative can provide clarity, and thereby avoid conflict between family members.

Q: Why don’t we just appoint our funeral director to do this since he’ll be the one we’ve asked to follow our pre-arrangement contract?

When the law was written, it precluded funeral directors, cemetery staff or other death care professionals from serving as a designated representative for anyone other than a person related by blood or marriage to a funeral director.

Q: I hold power of attorney papers for my mom. Can I appoint myself to serve as the representative upon her death?

A: Ohio law only permits a person of sound mind to designate a representative for disposition. Therefore, a person holding a power of attorney for another person, is not able to legally execute the designation.

Q: What if the person I appoint as my representative does not follow my wishes?

A: You should only appoint a person who you can trust to follow your wishes. I recommend that on the declaration form, that you specify that the representative you appoint should follow the instructions you have pre-arranged.

Q: Can we appoint more than one representative?

A: You may appoint as many representatives as you desire, but it essentially defeats the purpose of having one sole spokesperson for your wishes. A better idea would be to appoint one person as the designated representative, and other people as successor representatives – meaning that they would serve as representative only if the designated representative declined, or became ineligible to serve in that capacity.

If you have completed an advance funeral plan, we strongly encourage you to designate a representative to see that your wishes are followed. The Geib Family & Staff provide declaration or representative documents and complimentary notary services. Please contact my office at the number below for immediate attention.

Columnist Brian Hanner answers “Ask The Director” bi-weekly in The Bargain Hunter. Hanner is the Vice-President of Geib Funeral Homes, Crematories & Remembrance Centers at New Philadelphia and Dover. He can be reached by calling 330-343-5506 or by e-mail at: bhanner@geibcares.com

American Cancer Society Back in Bloom with Daffodil Days

The American Cancer Society is holding its annual fundraiser, known as Daffodil Days, today through Friday, March 20th.




For as long as I can remember, this sale of fresh-cut daffodils has been a welcome and well-received sign of spring.


Again this year, daffodils are for sale from both the Dover Geib Funeral Center and the Linn-Hert-Geib Funeral Home & Crematory at New Philadelphia.


Please consider supporting ACS by picking up a bouquet of daffodils for a donation of just $10.00


For a gift of $25.00 or greater, a special, limited edition "Boyd's Bear" (shown above)stuffed animal will be given, in addition to a regular bouquet of flowers. The 2009 limited edition bear is known as Carry R. Hope.


This 10-inch plush, oatmeal colored bear is holding a denim Daffodil Days tote.


As with previous Bear and a Bunch offerings, Carrie also has an embroidered daffodil on one paw and the American Cancer Society logo on the other.


The daffodils are available exclusively at Geib Funeral Homes while supplies last (through Friday) beginning today from 8AM – 5PM in our New Philadelphia location, and from 9AM-5PM from our Dover Geib Funeral Center.

American Cancer Society - Back in Bloom with Daffodil Days

Bear and a Bunch
This year’s Boyds exclusive, limited-edition bear for the 2009 Bear and a Bunch campaign is Carrie R. Hope, a 10-inch plush, oatmeal colored bear holding a denim Daffodil Days tote. As with previous Bear and a Bunch offerings, Carrie also has an embroidered daffodil on one paw and the American Cancer Society logo on the other. The bear will be offered along with 10 fresh-cut daffodils for a suggested donation of $25.00.

Questions about funeral pre-planning contracts answered.

A reader recently wrote “A close friend of my recently died, having very specific wishes regarding her funeral arrangements already on file with a signed pre arrangement contract from her funeral home.” "Unfortunately," she continued, “her children and their spouses did not honor her wishes and instead did what they wanted.” Is this legal? How can this be stopped?



A: Please accept my sympathy in the passing of your friend. I suspect that it is difficult for you to know that she had specific instructions and even painful to know that they were not carried out as she would have wanted. Please allow me to offer some thoughts on this topic.


Ohio law permits a person to pre-arrange their funerals with a funeral home. When a pre-arrangement is paid for, a contract is signed, between the individual making funeral arrangements, the funeral home, and usually a trust or insurance company, which, as a third-party, will hold the pre-payment of a funeral account, until fulfilled by the funeral home.

While the language of contracts vary from provider to provider, Ohio law, since 2006, has required that such a pre-paid funeral contract disclose that upon the death, a person holding the right of disposition of the remains of the deceased will have the right to make funeral arrangements inconsistent with the arrangements set forth in a pre-arranged contract.

How can this be?

– In Ohio, once a person passes away, their body becomes the quasi-property of his or her next of kin, or, alternately, a person previously designated by the deceased to carry out the wishes of the deceased. While this representative is almost always the next-of-kin, complications and estrangements within families do require that a person appointed by the deceased, carry out funeral arrangements, superseding the rights of immediate family members.

If you are unsure that your wishes will be carried out as specified in a funeral pre-arrangement, I strongly suggest that you consider appointing a person who will honor your wishes to serve as your representative upon death. This designation of a representative is not unlike the power of attorney designation, except that the powers-of-attorney cease upon death, and the powers of a representative do not begin until death occurs.

Anyone, regardless of where their pre-arrangement is filed, may contact my office for a complimentary Declaration of Representative for Disposition form. Since it is a legal document, either a Notary Public, or two unrelated people must witness your signature on such a document. We provide the document, and notary services, without cost.

To insist that arrangements on file with your funeral home are to be followed, I encourage you to state that preferences regarding funeral arrangements are on file with “X” funeral home, and that a person accepting an appointment as a representative for your disposition follow those written wishes. Since this notation is part of a legal document, it can be used to overcome any challenges upon death.

While such a conflict is somewhat rare, it is more prevalent today than at any other time in recent history. Taking the steps today to ensure that your wishes are followed is strongly encouraged.

###

On a personal note…

Anne and I wish to share our appreciation to the many readers who sent cards, shared words of comfort, and generally made our lives, and the lives of the Geib family much more bearable in the days since Rich Geib’s passing.

We will never find the right words to properly acknowledge all of the kindness we’ve received. Our prayer is that God will make us worthy of our friends, and of your continued goodwill.

Columnist Brian Hanner answers “Ask The Director” bi-weekly in The Bargain Hunter. Hanner is the Vice-President of Geib Funeral Homes, Crematories & Remembrance Centers at New Philadelphia and Dover. He can be reached by calling 330-343-5506 or by e-mail at: bhanner@geibcares.com

If you died tomorrow and intend on being cremated, would your loved ones know exactly what to do?


Is identification required before cremation takes place?


How is your physician's schedule related to the timing of cremation?


Where does cremation take place? (and other important questions anyone considering cremation should ask BEFORE choosing a cremation provider).



Join the Tuscarawas Valley's cremation experts, the Geib Family & Staff, for our eleventh annual presentation of Exploring Cremation - an examination of the practice of cremation, how it happens, and what a family should expect when a loved one chooses cremation.

Wednesday evening, March 11, 2009

at 6:30 PM

in the Geib Funeral Center at Dover.

A tour of the Geib Crematories will follow a fact-filled presentation.

A reservation for seating - (330) 343-5506 - is all that is necessary.

Desert and beverages are always provided - the reservation ensures that we have plenty to share with guests.

The evening is presented free of charge by the Geib Family & Staff - who are committed to preparing families to properly face the inevitability of death in a manner that provides supportive, factual and relevant information.

Remembering Richard D. Geib

Richard D. Geib, the 81 year old patriarch of the Geib family, entered into his heavenly reward last week. He'd been a well-cared-for resident of New Dawn Rehabilitation Center since late January, 2008.

While I could go on and on about the teaching he did in the past year by demonstrating grace, humility and even his own self-deprecating sense of humor in the twilight of his life, I'd be remiss not to focus upon his very active 80 years.

I believe that Rich was born to be a funeral director. – Not only were his father and paternal grandfather funeral directors, but his mother, Margaret Gintz, came from a family of funeral directors that operated the Gintz Funeral Home, from the building that is today Miller's Clothing and Shoes.

Growing up in the Geib household, Rich learned quickly the "always ready" lifestyle of a small town funeral director. The telephone could ring at any moment, changing the best laid plans for a special day with the family. Despite obviously disappointed relatives, Rich always expressed genuine gratitude for the opportunity to serve a family in their time of need.

He was a member of the Greatest Generation, a label coined by broadcaster Tom Brokaw to recognize the contributions to humanity made by Rich and his colleagues in uniform in winning World War II. His lesson; serve at your own peril, for a cause greater than your own self interest. While only in the military for a brief time, Rich served, and served, and served his whole life through. Whether in personal service to families with special needs, or in civic endeavourers, Rich gave more than he ever expected to gain in return.

Rich also taught us to be willing to take risks. In the late 1960's Rich decided to focus solely upon funeral service, and in the process closed and sold the family's furniture store. A few years later, he closed the Geib Ambulance Service. While both businesses were viable, Rich believed in doing one thing, and doing "it" extraordinarily well.

This focus allowed Rich and his son, Rich II, to extensively remodel and expand the funeral home, earning them recognition for a level of quality that came to be known as the Geib Standard. Over the years, the Geib's took risks in opening one of the first family reception centers in the United States, one of the first crematories in eastern Ohio, and recently, a state-of-the-art, contemporary funeral service center, across from Dover Burial Park.

Rich's reward was to see these innovations adopted throughout funeral service, though never duplicated in the sincere, authentic, nurturing quality of the Geib Standard.

The company that began in 1846, and now passed through five generations of the Geib Family, will continue to be known for quality; remaining focused on serving families in the Tuscarawas Valley in their time of need.

Rich taught us that the calling of a funeral director is really one that requires a team effort – that all of the care and attention a grieving family requires is bigger than just one person. As he is laid to rest Tuesday at noon, his casket will pass through the hands of dozens of his colleagues known collectively as The Geib Family & Staff on his final journey to the cemetery.

We're grateful that Rich inspired us to believe that the nurturing flames of service can always burn brighter to provide warmth in a time of sadness. In lighting the way, he's charged us to carry forward the Geib Standard.

On behalf of my father-in-law, Rich II, my wife, Anne, and our committed colleagues at the Geib Funeral Home, we accept this charge, and pledge to continue to bring honor to his memory.

Go in peace Grandpa Rich – your rest is well deserved.

Brian Hanner is the vice-president and general manager of the Geib Funeral Homes, Crematories and Remembrance Centers in New Philadelphia and Dover. Share comments or feedback with Brian by e-mail at bhanner@geibfuneral.com.

Some Great Reading - on Hope - and Opportunity

US Airways Captain Chesley B. Sullenberger III - was thrust into the spotlight last month when his flight -1549 lost it's thrust and ditched into the Hudson River.

In this week's edition of Newsweek.com, Captain Sullenberger shares a message of hope - even in light of the hopeless situation he found himself in during the three minutes he, and the aircraft under his direction, found its way from the sky to the Hudson River.

An Exerpt:

"During every minute of the flight, I was confident I could solve the next problem. My first officer, Jeff Skiles, and I did what airline pilots do: we followed our training, and our philosophy of life. We valued every life on that airplane and knew it was our responsibility to try to save each one, in spite of the sudden and complete failure of our aircraft. We never gave up. Having a plan enabled us to keep our hope alive. Perhaps in a similar fashion, people who are in their own personal crises—a pink slip, a foreclosure—can be reminded that no matter how dire the circumstance, or how little time you have to deal with it, further action is always possible. There's always a way out of even the tightest spot. You can survive."

Read the Essay online at :

http://www.newsweek.com/id/184605

Best Practices for Blended Families

This past week, Geib-in-Touch hosted an evening known as "Special Considerations in End of Life Planning". – It was an evening that called attention to the need for special considerations for blended families.

A blended family is one in which two adults come together later in life, typically with adult children from a previous marriage. The reality is that most of the information that was covered is also appropriate to share with many types of families.

Because experience has allowed us to serve families from many diverse backgrounds, we're able to share lessons learned from some of the more complicated situations we have encountered.

When blended families come together, they often bring two separate sets of beliefs, of religious practices and two separate sets of family traditions. Since funeral service combines all three, special attention to the needs and wants of survivors is necessary.

The most important component in bringing a blended family together is to communicate expectations within the new family unit. A widower, having buried two wives in his lifetime, has left instructions for his survivors to have him cremated, and his remains divided to allow him to be in two places at once upon his death; with both wives, one interred locally, and one in another state.

This decision involves not just his biological family, but also the surviving family members of his second wife, who have expressed complete cooperation with the widower's request.

Next, successful blended families have mutual respect for the traditions of their parts. This is best illustrated by a family we once served that combined the tradition of a traditional Christian graveside service with that of a Jewish burial custom of casting the first shovelfuls of dirt onto the casket and vault after it is lowered into a grave.

Blended families are best served when they are inclusive. They recognize the significance of one another. This can be done by simply including the names of extended family members in an obituary, and by taking the time to extend care and concern to one another.

For some blended families, complications arise. This is common if expectations are not properly communicated. If the family members of one spouse intend to make funeral arrangements for their parent, they may be surprised to know that Ohio law recognizes the "new" spouse as the legal next of kin, and thus the spouse as the person holding the premier right make funeral arrangements. If expectations are not clearly communicated, mutual respect shared, and inclusiveness placed as a top priority, complications abound

To equip families with the proper tools to discus and prepare for end of life planning, we offer important resources to foster communication. Additionally, when families want to ensure a specific outcome, and avoid complications, you can specify your burial arrangements and appoint a neutral third party, or trusted family member to follow the funeral wishes that you articulate, to be carried out upon your death. . Appointing a representative to this capacity supersedes Ohio's recognition of a surviving spouse, and others on Ohio's order of lineal descendants.

Blended families also face challenges in combining two households into one. Equally challenging is identifying what property is "his" "hers" and "theirs" when survivors begin to carry out estate settlement. It is a good idea to speak with an attorney to clarify the details of estate planning to ensure the wellbeing of relationships after we are no longer here to speak for ourselves. Your attorney, or one that specializes in estate planning and elder care is best equipped to assist you.

Two weeks ago, we wrote about our efforts to increase the visibility of funeral processions. I took several calls related to the article, and one bears recognition. One reader noted that he almost always travels in a funeral procession by way of his motorcycle.

His concern is that his motorcycle won't be noticed by passersby as a part of the funeral procession, and most motorcycle enthusiasts do not want a magnetic flag attached to their bikes… I'm pleased to report that we've found a solution. There are clip-on plastic flag holders that are specially made for the contour of motorcycle windshields.

The alternative that I suggested (tongue firmly planted in cheek) is to hoist a funeral flag a-la the Statue of Liberty – to which the caller replied – "over my dead body" – and I said "no – over your head on the motorcycle." – His answer "Click" - I caught the pun –a few seconds too late, and he had the last laugh.

See you in two weeks.

Brian Hanner answers “Ask The Director” a column appearing bi-weekly in The Bargain Hunter. Hanner ism the Vice-President of Geib Funeral Homes, Crematories and Remembrance Centers located in New Philadelphia and Dover. He can be reached by calling 330-343-5506 or by e m a i l a t: bhanner@geibcares.com

Drive Carefully - Funeral Processions & Motorist Safety

Lights Please! Funeral processions are getting dangerous.



My colleagues in funeral service are beginning to debate the safety of conducting funeral processions between the location of the service and the cemetery.



Presently, the longstanding tradition of processing between the church (or funeral home) and cemetery is marked by a carefully orchestrated lineup of vehicles, processing behind a funeral coach carrying the casket or urn.



Ohio Revised Code recognizes the need to yield the right of way to a funeral procession in section 4511.45. To participate in a procession, the law requires those traveling in a funeral procession to turn on high-beam (also known as bright) lights and to display purple and white pennants that must be attached to each vehicle in a procession.





An update to Ohio’s revised code allows for the use of bright orange and a white pennant flag to assist in the identification of car participating in a funeral procession – but is this enough?



Recent near-misses in funeral processions locally have lead us to add one step in preparing drivers for a funeral procession. Effective right away, members of the Geib Family & Staff will begin requiring those in a funeral procession under our direction to utilize their four-way flashing amber hazard lights.



We believe this additional step will help identify a funeral procession to other motorists. While not codified as part of Ohio’s revised code, we believe this additional step will increase the safety of those traveling in a funeral procession.



Despite the best efforts of police and funeral directors to mark every car participating in a funeral procession with bright lights and appropriate purple and orange pennants, caution must always be observed.



Please consider joining me in petitioning our state lawmakers to codify the use of four way hazard lights in a funeral procession. The addresses of our local lawmakers is included for your convenience. If you have encountered a close call in a funeral procession, perhaps your story will compel additional support to this cause. Our elected officials are as follows:



Allan R. Sayre,

Assistant Majority Whip

96th Ohio House District

77 South High Street, 14th Floor

Columbus, Ohio, 43215 – 6111



Mark D. Okey

61st Ohio House District

77 South High Street, 13th Floor

Columbus, Ohio, 43215 – 6111



Senator Jason Wilson

Ohio’s 30th District

Senate Building

Room # 050 Ground Floor

Columbus, Ohio 43215



Noted anthropologist, Margaret Mead, once said “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” We’ll see how a small group of committed citizens can make a difference in this effort. Thank you for your support. See you again in two weeks.



Columnist Brian Hanner answers “Ask The Director” bi-weekly in The Bargain Hunter. Hanner is the Vice-President of Geib Funeral Homes, Crematories & Remembrance Centers at New Philadelphia and Dover. He can be reached by calling 330-343-5506 or by e-mail at: bhanner@geibcares.com

Green Burial Preview - Revisited

The Geib Funeral Homes, Crematories & Remembrance Centers of Dover and New Philadelphia have earned accreditation as the region's first approved provider of natural burial products and services by the Green Burial Council.

A special preview of our green, or natural burial, products and servics is set for this upcoming Tuesday, January 27, 2009 at 6:30 PM in the Geib Funeral Center at Dover.

The evening program will feature the introduction of environmentally friendly, biodegradable caskets, burial shrouds and urns, including products made from bamboo and recycled materials.

We've sourced some casket manufacturing from local artisans in an effort to reduce the carbon footprint of our products.

Jennifer Quinn, the steward of Foxfield Preserve, Ohio's first nature preserve cemetery located in The Wilderness Center at Wilmot, just nine miles from the Geib Funeral Center, will be on hand to detail the conservation and ecological efforts underway at Foxfield Preserve. Quinn will discuss the nature preserve concept and how it blends environmentally into the Center's mission as a conservation organization.

Geib is this region's first provider to have earned accreditation from the Green Burial Council for its offering of conservation minded burial products and services. "The Geib organization is demonstrating visionary leadership in funeral service by embracing the consumer-driven trend toward eco-friendly burials" said Joe Sehee, executive director of The Green Burial Council.

This Geib-In-Touch event is free and open to the public, however reservations are recommended in order to properly prepare refreshments and seating. Please RSVP by telephoning (330) 343-5506 or by e-mail at info@geibfuneral.com.

A gift suggestion

looking for a Christmas gift for a young lady or gentleman?

May I sugget the following books available for purchase from Amazon.com:






This book is going out to several young friends as they emerge from high school, college and from professional school. While no book is 100% relevant, this text is what many young adults wished they learned from their parents.

In a time when common courtesy seems to have become uncommon, I hope the book does some good for your friend or loved one.

How Visiting hours are determined

Question: How are visiting hours determined? My friend's mother died and the family did four hours of visitation all at once plus an hour before hand for family viewing. It made for an exhausting 5 hour day. What ever happened to 2 to 4 and 7 to 9?


Answer: Your question is timely as the practicality of one visitation period is increasingly diminished due to early darkness associated with standard time.


For decades, if a loved one died, it was customary for a family to host visitation hours the day prior to a funeral service in both the afternoon, and evening. In a largely agrarian society – this model works well for dairy farmers and other's whose schedule requires an interlude between visitations to complete important work. As families encounter challenges in the way time is committed, customizing visiting hours to best serve family needs has become a necessity.


I believe that the best served family is one that has adequate time to interact with guests without exhausting the bereaved family.


That said, I offer the following from experience:


Calling hours 2-4 and 7-9 – are historically popular visitation periods, but today has limited effectiveness. Many older adults avoid driving after dark, and an afternoon visitation is ideal only on Sundays when many guests are not working. My experience with evening hours beginning at 7PM is that guests for evening visitation arrive almost immediately at the beginning of the allotted time. Attendance at visitation periods from 8 to 9 PM is almost non-existent - except for when a large line has formed.


Visiting hours in the evening only (6-8) are impractical in winter months because sunset occurs just after 5PM. An evening only visitation is more ideal in the summer months between 5PM and 7PM – hours that allow guests the option to come directly from work, or attend visitation later in the evening.


One drawback to a two hour visitation is the limited number of guests that can be accommodated. Larger families are better served with extended visitation periods.


Most families we serve between November and April (during darker winter months) prefer to host visiting hours between 4PM and 7PM. This extended time period accommodates both older adults who prefer to come and go before dark, and those who work in the afternoon, and can only attend after business hours.


The establishment of visiting hours must be balanced carefully. The comfort and needs of a family is of paramount importance, while experience in hosting visitations tells us that families and guests can be served well in tandem. In no instance do I recommend hosting more than three hours of visitation in one timeframe.


The most ideal setting for visitation hours for larger families, or when an unusually large attendance is anticipated is for establishing both afternoon and evening visiting hours. I recommend 2 – 4 and again from 6 – 8 in the evening – with the understanding that we don't just lock the doors and start the vacuum at 8PM – we remain on duty and at the service of a family and guests until everyone has enjoyed ample time to be together.


With the convenience of onsite family and reception centers, many families take advantage of the facilities between calling hours to enjoy a meal and relax in a comfortable environment.


Hosting a family meal between visitations also lessons the burden on families as well – eliminating the rush home, a quick meal, with clean up and then a hurried trip back to the funeral home.


Most families take advantage of this time to use the food gifts they have received from friends and neighbors, while some order take-out from a favorite food. Catering is also available for families from out of town.


The additional benefit to this family time between visitation periods is the rare opportunity for fellowship that only occurs at weddings and funerals – when we get to see cousins renewing relationships and older siblings re-telling tales of yesterday.


I hope the above options for visitations have been helpful to you in recognizing the plethora of options available to families today. If you have questions while pre-planning or making important decisions during a time of need, don't hesitate to carefully consider the best outcome for your loved ones.


Columnist Brian Hanner answers “Ask The Director” bi-weekly in The Bargain Hunter. Hanner is Managing Director of Geib Funeral Homes, Crematories & Remembrance Centers at New Philadelphia and Dover. He can be reached by calling 330-343-5506 or by e m a i l a t: bhanner@geibcares.com